


My Little Collection of Ridiculous Happenings

by alwaysaslutforfandoms



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Grandpa pants., I didn't mean to write this., I have other series I need to work on, I promise this ends well., Kylo what the shit are you doing??, Reader can be male or female, This is your fault...you played Macho Man., Why did this take over my afternoon?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysaslutforfandoms/pseuds/alwaysaslutforfandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of short one and two-shots. Will update tags and fandoms as I add more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Long story short.  
> You're married to Ren and are on the way home early from work to surprise him with some good news.  
> You walk in on a surprise of your very own.  
> Here we go!  
> Not overly worried about editing here, may look back over it later. :-)

Something had told to drive the car today…but did you listen?

Clearly, not.

Your calves were on fire but you kept pedaling, pushing the bike faster, racing to get home to tell Kylo the good news.

You were going to be parents.

You got the news on your lunch break, a quick fax from the agency. Your terms had been agreed to. All you had to do was come back to the office and sign the paperwork.

It didn’t quite seem real, you two had been trying to adopt for the past year and a half. You almost felt used to the bending over backwards and jumping through hoops at this point. And now all that you had to do was sign papers? You could hardly believe it. You reread the document a dozen times before your break ended. You finished your work in record time and left early to surprise Kylo, stopping only once to pick up some wine to celebrate, and now heartily wishing you had listened to that little voice that told you to take the car to work today.

You rode up over the grass and hopped off the bike while it was still going and ran to the door. Your hands were shaking so badly that you nearly dropped the wine and it took three times to get the key in the lock. Before you turned the handle, you stopped and took a deep breath, calming yourself so that you didn’t go in crying and alarm him.

You rested your head against the door and breathed while you thought about how ready you two were for this. Kylo had come so far from the rebellious, angst-filled twenty-something he was when you first met him at work. He worked his way up in the company and now ran his department, slowing making changes for the better. You never thought kids would be in the picture for you, but he brought up the idea of adopting. Wanting to make your house a home.

At one time he would have ran like his ass was on fire at the thought of that much responsibility. When you met, he was hot-headed and prone to outbursts. You never had the patience for his temper, you would give back as good as he gave. He wasn’t used to anyone standing up to him. He had no idea how to react when you wouldn’t put up with his shit. You ended up developing a deep trust in each other, and he opened up his past to you. He revealed himself to be a deeply loving, caring individual. Still has a temper, and is quick to speak his mind before thinking, but a good man.

Kylo had the afternoon off, so he would likely be in the shed out back working on the trellis. You had showed him several online and asked his opinion on ordering one. Two days later you woke up to him making all sorts of noise in the back yard, attempting to build you one himself. He really was incredibly sweet.

He matured beyond belief in the years you were together.

You took a deep breath, smiled and opened the door.  

The scene that greeted you stopped you in your tracks. It would stay with you for the rest of your life. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

You placed a hand over your mouth and blinked several times. Convinced you were seeing things.

You couldn’t imagine how not even a handful of seconds ago you were thinking about how much he has changed…how much he had matured.

To be continued…


	2. Chips and a Very Tall Dip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Kylo...  
> You catch Kylo doing something very unexpected.  
> He is shameless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Two!

You slowly lowered your hand from your mouth and reached into your pocket for your phone. You were in shock but you knew it would be necessary to record what you saw because he inevitably would deny whole affair later and we can't have that.

Kylo obviously didn’t plan on you coming home early today.

_Obviously._

You walked over and leaned on the wall at the entrance to the kitchen.

You were torn. You didn’t know if you should sneak back out and call him out on this later this evening, when you arrive “on time,” or just sit back and enjoy the show.

That’s a lie. You weren’t torn, you just thought you should be. You wouldn’t trade seeing this for the world.

Kylo still was unaware of your approach and now that you were closer you could see why. He had your cat-ear headphones on and was bopping around while he cooked ground beef on the stove. He was wearing nothing else but socks and his Darth Vader pajama pants that you bought him for one of your anniversaries. You gave it to him as a joke, so he would really be surprised when you gave him the card that had tickets for a week-long cruise for you both. He was so excited about the pants that it was a total surprise when he opened the card, he hadn’t expected anything else. He was almost more excited about the pants and wore them every night to bed on the cruise.

You noticed a large wooden bowl with tortilla chips and 3 jars of cheese on the counter.

He’s making nachos, and you know what time it is when he’s prepping nachos.

It’s business time.

The table was set for a date night. He had candles, flowers, and he had pulled a handful of DVDs out for after dinner. _Hmmm…Repo! The Genetic Opera…Avengers…and is that X-Men?_ You smiled to yourself. He picked the perfect blend of cinematic universes. He knew you too well.

You looked back to the bowl of chips on the counter. He obviously doesn’t plan on making it through all the movies. You were nearly ready to try and alert him to your presence when he started to sing along with the music.

“NACHO NACHO MANNNNNNNN…….I'VE TO BE A NACHOOOO MAN!” He backed up and ran into a slide across the floor spinning around. “NACHO NACHO----Shit, Y/N!” Kylo slipped and landed flat on his back. He just laid there staring at the ceiling while you walked over.

You knelt by his side and placed a hand on his chest, running your nails in a light pattern that you knew would keep him calm. “Whatcha doooooing?” You gave him a small smile, trying with all your might to not laugh. “You okay there, Kitten?”

Kylo reddened a little at that, he had teased you when you bought the headphones on impulse. They didn’t play well but he breaks headphones nearly as soon as he gets them out of their packaging. It’s not the first time you’ve caught him wearing them, and the nickname has stuck. “I wasn’t expecting you for a few more hours.”

You arched a brow at him. “Really? You mean that dance wasn’t for my benefit?”

“Actually, I have a whole routine planned for after dinner, but you crashed the rehearsal.” He sat up and laced his fingers through yours. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.” He gestured to the table, “I ordered your favorite from Martinelli’s to be delivered at 8, so it would be perfect when you got here. Even picked some of your movies for us to watch.”

"Oh, it was perfect alright," you said grinning ear to ear. "I see you’re making your famous nachos.” You tried and failed to look stern.

“Yeah, I got some good news today. Thought they might be in order.” Kylo looked so proud of himself. He doesn’t get embarrassed around you anymore when he’s caught being goofy. It would be an entirely different story if he knew you have it recorded to your phone. You’d save that for another time. “Y/N…I got a call from the adoption agenc---“

You threw yourself into his arms, “They faxed me at work!” You pulled back with a teary smile, “We’re getting our little girl.”

Kylo, trying to hide the tears in his own eyes, eyed the bag you placed on the floor beside you. You pulled the wine out with a wink. “Thought it might be in order,” giving his words back with a grin.

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you breathless. You remembered that the stove was on and tried to pull away but Kylo wrapped your hair around his hand and held tight to keep you from moving. You laughed into his mouth, “The stove, you dork!”

He didn’t miss a beat, he reached a long arm up and turned off the stove and pushed the pan to the cold burner, all the while still holding you with his other arm and pulling you down on top of him. You straddled Kylo’s waist and started a line of kisses down his jaw bone. “You know, kitchen sex isn’t gonna be a regular occurrence for a while, right? You sure you’re ready to give that up?” you asked jokingly.

Kylo grabbed your ass and flipped you over onto your back and said with a shrug, “Guess we’ll just have to start now and get it all in before she comes home.” He looked thoughtful and shrugged, smiling like an idiot. "Should hold us through until she starts school."

You spent the next couple of hours doing just that.

And then you had nachos.

It was the greatest moment of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of the day.  
> Kylo is a cornball.  
> And I love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Part Two up in a couple hours!  
> Hope you enjoyed it!  
> Sometimes I just need to write something terrible that doesn't fit into any series I'm working on.:-D  
> @alwaysaslutforfandoms on tumblr


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